Ku Klux Kwanzaa

Texas- In a surprise move today the CAAC or Christian African American Community has joined forces with the Ku Klux Klan forming a new organization KKKCAAC, in an attempt to discriminate against homosexuals to keep marriage in the United States clean, pure and moral.

The “odd couple” stems from last years vote to add an amendment to the Texas Constitution that will define marriage between a man and a women. “It just sickens me to see two men holding hands in a grocery store. Or seeing two women kissing each other at a restaurant. It just ain’t right”, explained Biggy Gott, an African American and leader of the CAAC. Biggy Gott went on to say. “Homosexuals are an abomination unto the Lord and our society. If we want this country a clean, pure and moral place to live, we must rid ourselves of these “F” words! We need to ship them back to Paris where they came from.” We questioned Biggy Gott about why he was so head strong about separating the heterosexuals from the homosexuals, he explained. “They are taking over this country, for example this queer boy took my wife’s job at the hair salon. Last week I had a pink feller, move in right next door to me. He and his friends were hanging out in the street, openly drinking Mimosas’ and blasting those damn show tunes until 3 am. It won’t be long before the entire neighborhood looks fabulous, and I’m not going to sit around and wait for that to happen. How are my children supposed to play safely in their own backyard with all these queers walking around with their excellent grooming, well appointed suites and Mocha Latte’s?” Biggy went on to explain. “We as Christian African Americans are also lobbying to have “heterosexual only” sections in restaurants and on public transportation.”

Biggy Gott’s wife, Nichole doesn’t share her husband’s zealot attitude for segregation. “I have at least three lesbian friends at work, and one has even visited our home, so I don’t really consider myself to be discriminatory. However, I am a Christian African American, and I was obligated to vote in favor of the amendment, exactly the way my pastor suggested.

Greg Tilson of the local Ku Klux Klan couldn’t agree more. “It is time we put aside our differences of skin color, at least until Kwanzaa 2006, to join forces with the CAAC to eradicate this vermin called homosexuality. STRAIGHT POWER!! STRAIGHT POWER!!

We caught up with Chris Mckenzie, a gay man who has become a victim of the KKKCAAC and shared his experience with us. “I heard a noise outside last Wednesday night, I got up to see what it could be, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. There on my front lawn, was a Michelangelo’s David statue