Large Hadron Collider Set to annihilate Earth; Solar System

Scientists working with the Large Hadron Collider in the Alps claim that they really have no idea what will happen when subatomic particles traveling near the speed of light collide with one another. They may inadvertently destroy the Earth and, possibly, the solar system or more.

“We have no idea what’s going to happen when we try to recreate the Big Bang”, said Lynn Evans, director of the Large Hadron Collider. “We may create tiny black holes that will devour anything in their path. We may create a cataclysm of such magnitude that it will destroy at least our galaxy and, possibly, the universe itself. Maybe nothing bad will happen. But won’t it be fun to find out?”

The scientists working on the project are seeking to view the elusive Higgs Bosoms, particles that are extremely huge and elusive. It will also create anti-matter which, in quantity, can be very dangerous and annihilate matter.

“We need this machine to satisfy out curiosity”, Evans claimed. “We really have no idea what Higgs Bosoms look like. We don’t even know if they’re real!”

The scientists working on the project are fully prepared to take full responsibility if the machine does destroy the universe.

“If we destroy the universe now we can simply build a new one”, Evans stated.