BOISE, ID (DMZ) – DMZ insiders have learned that Idaho Senator Larry Craig will be announcing that he is giving up his fight to restore his reputation in the U.S. Senate, and instead has signed a contract to star in the role of Albus Dumbledore in the final two Harry Potter films. A spokesperson for Michael Gambon , the popular British actor who has portrayed Dumbledore in the past two films stated that Gambon has elected to pursue other projects. The spokesperson refused to comment if Gambon’s decision had been related to author JK Rowling’s recent revelation of Dumbledore’s homosexuality.
“The money was right,” stated a Craig staffer. “The senator has amassed quite a legal bill thus far in attempting to clear his name. Plans are for Senator Craig to star as Dumbledore in the sixth and seventh films, and use the proceeds to seek reelection on or about 2014. The success of Republican movie stars in politics is outstanding.”
Senator Craig was reached by phone for comment, and stated that he was “looking forward to the challenging role.”
“While I am not gay,” stated Craig, “I can fully appreciate the double life which the character seems to lead. Being in charge of the discipline of young children at a boarding school is a tremendous, and lonely responsibility. How does one deal with all of the dirty, nasty little secrets that go on? I have had discussions with Ms. Rowling, and I am also looking forward to bringing a balance of Christianity to the pagan, hedonistic world of Harry Potter.”
DMZ has also learned that child stars Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson are skeptical of the replacement of Gambon with Craig, and may be in the process of hiring lawyers.