Lawsuit Exposes Bill O'Reily's Kinky Obsession With Falafel and Andrea Mackris!

Unconfirmed sources report that Bill O’Reily’s use of falafel as an aphrodisiac has caused a run on the tasty Middle Eastern food. Middle Eastern eateries worldwide have been overwhelmed by the increase of people wanting falafel for take out and delivery. Strangely, dine in sales of the spicy dish have remained unchanged.

“It’s crazy.” Said Abu Nasser of Falafel World. “Three days ago the phone started ringing off the hook. Falafel! Falafel! Falafel is all they want. ‘How about some taboule’ I say. I ran out of falafel yesterday and my supplier says he has also run out.”

The whole thing started when Bill O’Reilly went on the air and accused a female Fox News producer of a multi-million dollar shakedown attempt. She then filed a lawsuit claiming that he subjected her to repeated instances of sexual harassment and spoke often, and explicitly, to her about phone sex, vibrators, threesomes, and sexual fantasies involving falafel. O’Reily apparently suffers from a rare condition know as falaphilia a twisted sexual falafel fetish.

Noted expert on falaphilia, Dr. Tarrik Musab, told us about the rare condition.

“Falaphilia is a very serious condition that has no known treatment. There are generally four symptom sets associated with the condition. Mr. O’Reily seems to be suffering from a severe case of Type 4. I have grave concerns for Mr. O’Reily and recommend that he lay in a generous supply of humus and pita bread.”

falaphilia(courtesy of www.falaphilia.com)

1. Obsessive fascination with ground spiced chickpeas shaped into balls and fried.

2. Erotic attraction to or sexual contact with garbanzo beans, coriander, and cumin.

3. An abnormal fondness for being in the presence of Middle Eastern foods. Also called taboulehmania, hummulingus.

4. Sexual contact with or erotic desire for a falafel.

Mr. O’Reily is said to be taping several shows each day in preparation for extended stay at facility specializing in an experimental treatment for falaphilia. Fox News would not comment on Mr. O’Reily’s condition.

Experts predict that the falafel shortage will ease as more restaurants add the classic Middle Eastern dish to their menus. Chickpea futures are already getting back to normal after a large spike two days ago. Our sources indicate that a certain fast food chain may even be experimenting with a product code named “McLafel”, but this information is unconfirmed.