Lindsay Lohan's "teabag", Britney Spears' Breasts and George Bush's State

Lindsay Lohan’s mother, Dina, told the Star that her daughter’s injury while she was staying at Bryan Adams’ home was due to a tea cup that slipped out of Lohan’s hand while coming out of the shower. Later, Adams’, who was also present, told Playboy TV that the accident actually involved Lohan and a tea bag coming out of the shower.

President Bush spoke at Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry to kick off his State of the Union points, because no state is more enlightened than one where they spell opera “opry”.

In his State of the Union address, President Bush said that Americans must break their addiction to oil. The statement marked the evenings longest break when Vice President Dick Cheney couldn’t stop laughing for the next five minutes.

Peace activist Cindy Sheehan was removed from the House gallery prior to the State of the Union address when she refused to cover a T-shirt she was wearing that read “2,245 Dead”, because protest is not allowed in the House during a Presidential speech and neither is reality.

Britney Spears will guest star in an episode of Will & Grace as a chef who can’t cook but has very large breasts. Spears says the role is a stretch from her day job, a singer who can’t sing but has very large breasts.

James Frey, the author whose memoir “A Million Little Pieces” was largely discredited as lies, is changing the title of his book to “Okay, I made the whole damn thing up! Will you keep buying it now?”

In a related note, Frey has been hired by Donald Rumsfeld to author a report tentatively titled “Iran’s World Threatening Nuclear Program”.

Fans of the movie Brokeback Mountain are deluging the Wyoming office of business with calls to visit the area even though the gay cowboy movie was shot in Canada. Said Chuck Coon, spokesman of the Wyoming Business Council, “I tell them that they didn’t shoot it here but in Canada, and they still want to come here