Mahdi Army Insists All Sadr Still in Iraq

Baghdad, Iraq (APE) – One day after anonymous US officials insisted that radical cleric Muqtada al Sadr had fled Iraq for Iran, an anonymous Mahdi Army spokesperson stepped forwards with photographic proof that it presented to Al Jazeera showing that Al Sadr was still in Iraq in his command bunker. Al Sadr’s departure had been reported by several US television networks yesterday on the strength of anonymous US government sources.

The picture shows Al Sadr, affectionately known as “Mullah Atari” to his supporters, in command of his anti-American army in Iraq.

The Mahdi Army spokesperson stated that Al Sadr had complete split-second, real-time command of his troops via a heavily modified PlayStation 2. Al Sadr is currently operating off of a hacked copy of the heavily anticipated Electronic Arts upcoming release of its latest “Command and Conquer” series of video games.

“No one is able to utilize suicide bombers and unruly crowds like Mullah Atari,” said the Mahdi spokesperson. “We predict that the Bush surging strategy is eventually doomed for failure.”