Master Yoda speaks: Iraqi insurgents using 'The Force' , Guantanamo Bay 'Gulag'

Unconfirmedsources report the 600 year old Jedi Master Yoda is troubled by the situation on the ground in Iraq and Guantanamo Bay Cuba. Speaking before a combined session of the United Nations and the Imperial senate, Master Yoda expressed his opinion that the conflict in the Iraq looks like a “grand failure” and Guantanamo Bay has become a modern ‘Gulag’. The Jedi master went on to explain he senses a great disruption in ‘The Force’. Master Yoda feels the dark side of ‘The Force’ is flowing in Iraq and Guantanamo Bay

Master Yoda a veteran of the Clone wars and the revolution against the Empire has vast experience fighting the dark side of ‘The Force’. He has been an outspoken critic of the US war on terror and occupation of Iraq. The Bush administration once counted as a supporter of the Jedi Knights has become a harsh critic of the group. Vice President Dick Cheney is leading the media attack on the Jedi Knights and other rebel groups such as Amnesty International.

Vice President Dick Cheney says he’s offended by recent Jedi Knights report criticizing conditions at the prison camp for terror suspects at Guantanamo Bay. “Frankly, I was offended by it,” Cheney said in the videotaped interview. “For Yoda and the Jedi Knights to suggest that somehow the United States is a violator of human rights, I frankly just don’t take them seriously.”

Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Gen. Richard Myers called the Jedi Knights report “absolutely irresponsible.” and suggested their use of ‘The Force’ be investigated. General Myers went on to say that “…if Yoda and those other Jedi Knights don’t shut up they will get a chance to investigate the conditions at Guantanamo Bay, personally……”

Chairman Gen. Richard Myers also said “I’m looking forward to the Newsweek reports from Guantanamo Bay, we should see many great reports over the next several years.” Per the Generals orders 15 members of the Newsweek Magazine staff have been permanently “embedded” with the Guantanamo inmates in cell block G.