PORTSMOUTH, N.H — The McCain campaign was rushed to hospital this morning after being found lifeless in a Hew Hampshire parking lot. The campaign, which had been showing signs of weakness, was still and unresponsive. Bystanders tried to revive it with promises to vote for it and some even stuffed money in it’s pockets, but to no avail. The campaign was still lifeless when it was loaded into an ambulance.
The McCain Campaign has apparently stabilized and it’s officials are now claiming it is in ‘stable but guarded condition’. The McCain campaign remains in a New Hampshire hospital on life support.
“I’m not surprised.” Says Washington watcher David Brooks. “McCain is a great man, but his campaign has been suffering as of late. John is a tough guy and I think he might have pushed it a little to hard. The McCain campaign has had a very difficult time with the war and a very unpopular President, I’m hopeful, but I think we should prepare for the worst.”
Our sources indicate that after a brief rest the McCain campaign will be loaded aboard a medically equipped jet and flown to Iowa where John McCain will be speaking tonight and tomorrow.