McCain Says He Would Put "Hanging Judges" on Supreme Court

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C., — Highlighting an issue he plans to use aggressively in the general election campaign, Sen. John McCain stated “the federal courts need some good old fashioned hanging judges.” and pledged to nominate judges that would once again make abortion a crime.

The presumptive Republican presidential nominee said that Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. and Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr. “would serve as the model for my own nominees”. The Arizona Senator went on to explain that he would work to insure the medical doctors that performed abortions and the mothers of terminated fetuses would “be doing hard time for their crimes.”

According to McCain, both the mother and doctor are joined in a criminal conspiracy to murder a child. “The doctors and mothers should face the same harsh justice.” says McCain.

“My nominees will understand that there are clear limits to the scope of judicial power, they will do just what I tell them to,” McCain told a crowd of several hundred at Wake Forest University’s Wait Chapel, as he stood in front of nine American flags and mock-ups of the preamble to the Constitution.

Later in the day, he announced the formation of a conservative-leaning Justice Advisory Committee, which he said will counsel him on judicial appointments if he wins the presidency. The group would help McCain find more nut bag activist judges, “Just like George W. Bush.”