McCain Says He Would Put Judge Dredd on Supreme Court

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C., — Highlighting an issue he plans to use aggressively in the general election campaign, Sen. John McCain stated “the federal courts need some good old fashioned hanging judges.” and pledged to nominate Judge Dredd to once again bring justice swift and sure to the streets.

The presumptive Republican presidential nominee said that Judge Dredd would join Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. and Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr. “To serve as the model for all new judges”. The Arizona Senator went on to explain that he would require both Roberts and Alitio to under go extensive physical training and that he would expect them to take up fire arms as well.

“My nominees will understand that they will do just what I tell them to,” McCain told a crowd of several hundred at Wake Forest University’s Wait Chapel. As he stood in front of nine American flags and mock-ups of the preamble to the Constitution. McCain explained that Judge Dredd be assigned to “stretch the limits of Presidential power.”

According to McCain Staffers “Judge Dredds first assignments will be to “judge” the prisoners being held at the Guantanamo Bay detention center in Cuba.”