McCain/Palin Campaign Confirm 17 Year Old Palin Daughter Bristol Pregnant

Alaska (Rotters) – The McCain/Palin campaign today confirmed that presumptive GOP vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin’s 17-year-old daughter Bristol was indeed pregnant out of wedlock. The campaign requested that the young girl be treated with the utmost dignity, fearing an onslaught of vicious rumors that they felt would be likely to accompany the controversial nomination of her mother as the Republican vice presidential candidate.

Bristol became the object of many rumors as she comforted and care for Palin’s infant son, Trig, during public appearances this weekend, apparently concealing her pregnancy with her brother and a large blanket. Rumors have also circulated that Trig might possibly even be her child.

The campaign further denied that the father of the child was an Alaska state trooper formerly married to Palin’s sister. Palin is currently under investigation for abuse of authority in applying undue pressure to have her former brother-in-law fired during a messy divorce from her sister.

“This is just a nasty rumor until proven true,” stated a spokesperson for Palin. “Ms. Palin welcomes any investigation, and encourages you, just as she did Sen. McCain, to vet her. For now, the family is looking forward to welcoming a new member to the fruitful and multiplying Palin clan. The Palin family is highly representative of the Republican family values that Sen. McCain is attempting to resurrect and recognize through his nomination of the Alaska governor.”