Meg Whitman Not a Whore, According to Sources


Friends of California Republican gubernatorial hopeful Meg Whitman denounced a member of opponent Democrat Jerry Brown’s campaign today by insisting that Whitman is not a whore and has no interest in sex at all.

The furor started when a member of Brown’s campaign left a recorded voice mail message stating that Whitman is a “whore”. Brown apologized for allowing that part of the recorded conversation to be heard.

“My opponent is not a whore”, Brown told the media.

Friends of Whitman agreed that she is most definitely not a whore. “She hates sex and anything to do with sex”, said Whitman’s husband Griff Harsh. “She and I haven’t even had sex since the kids were born!”

“I would more call her a frigid bitch”, said EBay vice president Harry Montauk.

“She wouldn’t have sex unless it would advance her career”, said another associate of Whitman’s.

Of all the people interviewed only one person stepped forward in defense of the “whore” comment.

“I did her in the back of a van in ’79”, said an old school friend of Whitman’s who is now working as a California public defender and asked not to be named. “But I think she let me do her because she thought I was going to pay her