Mega Church Claims Chocolate Jesus Has Risen


Dateline-New York, NY (UPSI) – A spokesperson for the Lab Gallery, former home for the controversial 200 pound chocolate Jesus sculpture entitled “My Sweet Lord”, today released a statement that the prominent Southern Christian mega-church that had purchased the sculpture for Easter communion is now claiming it has disappeared, and possibly risen from the dead.

The religious confection had been slated for an Easter sunrise communion service for the 15,000 member congregation in conjunction with an offering of peeps and graham crackers at a bonfire afterwards. The chocolate Jesus had been maintained in a walk-in freezer at the church facility for the past three days, and when parishioners arrived early this morning in preparation for the service, they found the locked freezer standing open with nothing but a shroud of tinfoil left behind.

Local sheriff’s authorities had been alerted as to the possible theft, but no evidence of a break-in had been found.

The Lab Gallery produced photos submitted from the church which showed the tinfoil covered Jesus placed in the locked walk-in freezer, as well as the tinfoil found early this morning. The tinfoil purportedly shows evidence of heat stress as well as an apparent image of the face of Jesus baked into the foil with some type of chocolate residue.

A press release from the church stated that Catholic authorities had been notified as to the possible miracle, and a further investigation was under way. Church pastor Reverend David Vernon stated that all evidence was being meticulously preserved for the Catholic authorities. Despite the pastor’s claims, small pieces of tin foil referred to as “The Shroud of Vernon” have reportedly been surfacing for sale on eBay since early this morning.