Red-faced officials with the CIA, FBI, NSA, the Pentagon and Homeland Security admitted today that they have had sexual relations with accused Russian spy Anna Chapman and may have ‘accidentally’ let some top secret information slip and have endangered the nation’s security.
“I didn’t know she was a spy!” said CIA special agent Frank DuBois. “I thought she was just some horny chick and I wanted to impress her with stuff I knew!”
DuBois would not reveal the information he leaked to Chapman but did acknowledge “it would totally destroy the security of the nation”.
CIA Chief Leon Panetta also admitted that he slept with the Russian spy but claims he did not reveal any secrets.
“I knew she was a spy!” Panetta revealed. ” only gave her false information. So if anything bad happens to this country don’t blame me!”
Homeland Security special agent Paul Franklin admits he slept with the curvaceous beauty but, “i didn’t tell her anything she couldn’t find on the internet!”
Several Pentagon and White House officials also admitted they may have inadvertently revealed some classified military secrets to the attractive 28-year-old femme fatale. One Pentagon official, who asked his name not be released, said “when you have some hot babe in a skimpy negligee offering you a blow job it’s easy to let a few secrets slip!”
“I wish I didn’t tell her where all our nuclear weapons are stored”, lamented an NSA official.