Memorial Holiday Extended Due to Surge in Iraq War Casualties

(Ucs News : Washington) Administration officials have decided to increase the U.S. Memorial day holiday by two days. According to sources inside the Pentagon, the additional days are required to properly celebrate the ongoing sacrifices of U.S. military personnel.

White House Spokesmen Tony Snow greeted the announcement with pleasure. “it’s been hard for many public officials to pay tribute to all the American Heros that have fallen and those that will continue to fall. The extra two days will allow each wasted life it’s proper respect.”

“It’s been a problem for several years now.” stated Snow. “Even before the Iraq war planning Memorial day was very difficult, throw in a few college graduation ceremonies with commencement speeches and it’s a complete schedualing disaster.”

While many have hailed the increased holiday, some are skeptical of the motivation. Administration critics are concerned the extension is a ploy to increase holiday travel, padding the profits of both airlines and oil companies.

Still others blame George W. Bush personally for creating the Memorial day crisis. An administrator for the National Cemetery in Arlington, Virginia complained “We were doing just fine until the second Iraq war and the troop surge, We were just keeping pace with the returning heros. Now forget it.”