Washington, DC (Rotters) – The White House this morning, in a hurried press conference, announced that the president would be withdrawing his controversial reappointment of John Bolton as US ambassador to the United Nations. Perhaps deciding that the inflammatory nomination was not worth the battle in Congress, it was announced that Bush would be putting forward the immediate nomination of comedian Michael Richards to fill the post.
The White House cited the success of its venture into the entertainment business with the appointment of Fox network’s Tony Snow as press secretary to fill the vacancy left by Scott McClellan.
“Michael had a little slip up and he apologized immediately,” said an anonymous White House source. “This is precisely the rapid thinking on one’s feet that this position needs. We regret Michael’s recent loss of his cool, but he was in the midst of a comedy routine, and sometimes things can be taken the wrong way in the heat of the moment… it’s not like he called someone a macaca or insulted our troops or something… besides, most of the audience seemed to be really with him in his comments… that’s exactly the bold leadership that we want at the UN to advance America’s objectives.”
Bolton’s parting with the White House on the surface appeared to be amicable. Rumor had it that he was able to secure a multimillion dollar contract with Quaker Oats Inc. as their new spokesperson, replacing the aging Wilford Brimsley. Quaker is set to launch a new “get tough with cholesterol” advertising campaign which will spotlight the talents of the frequently acerbic Bolton.
President Bush, just returned from what he described as a smashingly successful trip to Indonesia, stated that he was looking forward to working with Richards. “I’m a big fan,” stated Bush, “I’ve got all his episodes on tape. Lot’s of folks were into that whole Ross/Rachel thing, but I always thought that he carried the show… How YOU doin’?… that still cracks me up… and I use it sometimes myself!”