Michelle Bachman Admits Extramarital Affair and Alien Abduction

(Washington D.C.) A tearful Michelle Bachman, R-Minn admitted Tuesday to an extraterrestrial affair with an alien that had abducted her in 2007. Bachman , would not identify the alien’s home planet but said she “rode a beam of pure energy” during the abduction turned affair.

“Last year, I had an affair,” the Republican Representative said outside her office in Washington “I violated the vows of marriage, gravity and physics. It’s absolutely the worst thing I’ve done in my life.

“I take full responsibility for my actions. I know I have deeply hurt and disappointed my husband, my children, my family, the planet earth, my species and those who believed in me. And to all of them, especially my husband, I’m truly sorry,” she said.

The Representative’s office also released a statement from Bachman’s husband, saying, “Since we found out last year, we have worked through the situation and we have come to a reconciliation. This has been difficult on us and the Nasa scientists assigned to the investigation. With the help of our family and close friends, our marriage has become stronger. I love my wife.”

Bachman’s spokesman, Tory Mazzola, said Bachman and the alien carried on the affair from December 2007 through August 2008. The affair ended when “a gravity portal suddenly opened and the alien was pulled into a shimmering vortex of light.”