Michelle Bachmann Vows To Eliminate Porn; Nude Women


Anti-porn crusader Michelle Bachmann declared today that she will eliminate any depictions of nude women from anywhere in America if she is elected President.

The stunning declaration was made as part of Bachmann’s efforts to “wipe porn from the face of humanity”

“Nude women are leading to the downfall of America!” Bachmann decried. “We must stop men and women from looking at pictures of nude women! We must eliminate disgusting magazines like Playboy!”

Bachmann also stated that husbands should not be looking at their wives naked. “Lovemaking should be done in the dark only for the purpose of producing offspring”, Bachmann stated. “If you do not intend to produce children then you shouldn’t be having sex!”

Many people agreed with Bachmann. “I’d rather my husband didn’t see me naked”, said 50 year old Jenny Gardner. “Lights off is just fine with me!”

Not everyone was supportive of Bachmann’s view. “C’mon she’s just a crazy bitch!” said 34 year old construction worker Ralph Stetson.

Some economists said that eliminating porn would destabilize the economy as porn is a multi-billion dollar industry.

“If nude women are outlawed then only outlaws will have nude women”, said economist Axel Leijonhufvud.