Miracle Observed in Iraqi Torture Facility

Baghdad, Iraq (Claw News Service) – Prominent Republicans from across the US, including the Reverend Pat Robertson, began flocking to Baghdad despite the danger to observe what is being branded as a modern day miracle. In a search Sunday night by American troops, 173 tortured Iraqis were found in a fortified underground bunker just outside the Interior Ministry’s compound in Baghdad. The recent allegations of CIA maintained and directed secret international torture facilities has been a black eye for the Bush administration, especially in light of their staunch threats to veto any anti-torture legislation from the house or senate.

An extensive injury to one of the anonymous detainees has taken on the appearance of the face of a laughing George Bush. Army medics are at a loss to explain what type of torture implement might account for the pattern of bruising and abrasions that have occurred.

Rev. Robertson stated, “I have spoken with God about this, and it is clearly a sign. He is angry with all of those who would take the Lord’s name in vane with those blasphemous remarks like ‘Who would Jesus torture?’. Clearly we must stand behind the president and his ability to smite with whatever means necessary those who would oppose God’s divine rule.”

A Sunni Iraqi Imam, wishing to remain anonymous said that he disagreed entirely with Rev. Robertson, and stated that the miracle was subject to an entirely different interpretation under Islam.

A US soldier given credit for spotting the marks after the raid on the bunker stated, “The real miracle is that we were able to save these guys at all, and this may explain why the streets have been relatively quiet lately. The conditions were deplorable. If we hadn’t acted when we did, this guy in particular would have been toast.”

White House spokesperson Scott McClellan stated that the president was appreciative of the support shown by Rev. Robertson, but would not comment further. Bush is in the midst of an extended Asian tour, and is expected this week to lay a wreath at the grave of Genghis Kahn.