School officials from Itawamba Agricultural High School in Fulton, Mississippi have offered a compromise plan to 18-year-old Constance McMillen which will allow her to attend the senior high school Prom with her lesbian lover without violating school policy.
The plan, in brief, suggests that McMillen undergo a sex change operation before the prom then, when the prom is over, simply be switched back again.
“We think Constance should be the one to change into a boy”, said Itawamba County School superintendent Teresa McNeece. “After all, she’s the one who wants to wear the tuxedo!”
Opponents to the proposal argue that it would cost over $100,000 for the procedures. “That’s a lot of money to shell out for one night!” said Roger Cleft, a parent to three children who swear they are not gay. “I’d tell her to bite the bullet and go to the prom with a ‘real man’ who could show her what hetero sex is like!”
Also, despite enjoying sex with women, Constance still likes being a girl.
“I’m sure God is up there watching and he’s totally pissed off”, McNeece declared. “It wouldn’t surprise me if he sent thunderbolts down and strikes this whole evil town dead!”
“Besides”, McNeece continued, “God made Adam and Eve. Not Madam and Eve!”
Many homophobic towns across America are staying tuned to find how this entire scenario plays out.