(Washington : Ucs News) In a gala event attended by Washington’s political elite the newest conservative debutant Monica Goodling was rewarded for being a loyal Bush administration aparachik. With the President and Republican luminaries in attendance Ms. Goodling received the Jane Curtin Memorial Ignorant Slut Award.
Winning the Jane Curtin Memorial Ignorant Slut Award will be the highlight of Ms. Goodlings short but distinguished political career. The Ignorant Slut Award is won by completely disregarding reality in the service of a lost cause. Past winners of the Jane Curtin Memorial Ignorant Slut Award include Ann Coulter, Elizabeth Dole, Lindsay Lohan and Ariana Huffington*.
While may question awarding Goodling the Ignorant Slut designation, her supports claim “She more than just another mindless conservative party aparachik.” According to those close to the bubble headed neophyte trollop, she really believed that by breaking the law she was “Making the world a better place.” She never considered the corrupting the Department of Justice a problem, she was “just following orders”.
While Goodling is just one of the many aparachik foot soldiers of the Bush Administration, she came to prominence in 2007 in the midst of a political controversy surrounding the firings of several U.S. attorneys. During congressional testimony Goodling, with immunity in-hand, admitted to violating the hatch act then masterfully played the young bubble headed blonde accidently caught in the middle of a scandal she had nothing to do with.
With her Jane Curtin Memorial Ignorant Slut Award in hand Monica Goodling can now look forward to being forever known as “George Bush’s Monica.”
Ariana Huffington* Was later stripped of her award, she is no longer an Ignorant Slut.