"My President is NEVER , EVER, wrong!" > Condoleezza Rice


WASHINGTON — U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice defended on Friday Iraq war policy worked out by the Bush administration, saying “we ought to stick to it.”.
“I understand people’s concern. I understand people’s impatience,” but ‘we ought to stick’ to the troop buildup strategy that President George W. Bush announced in January,” Rice said in a TV interview.

She said that people should wait until September when commanding Gen. David Petraeus and U.S. Ambassador Ryan Crocker are scheduled to deliver a new assessment of conditions in Iraq.

“Let’s look at the whole picture,… We’ll have a much better view of that whole picture when Gen. Petraeus and (U.S. Ambassador) Ryan Crocker report in September,” the secretary said.

Secretary Rice was asked what ‘policy’ would be considered a final and successful outcome of the Iraq war.

Rice responded, ” Well four years ago, success would have been the finding and capturing the Iraqis responsible for the Twin Towers disaster, until I discovered that no Iraqis were involved. Next, the goal was to capture Osama bin Laden in Iraq, until it was determined he was in Afghanistan. Then capture and confiscation of weapons of mass destruction was the goal, until I found that my esteemed President was lied to about that. Then I figured success would be the overthrow of the Taliban in Iraq, when to my astonishment, I found out there were no Taliban in Iraq. Next, I was told by my bold, intellectual and eloquent President that the war was to bring democracy to Iraq by force. Sadly , no democracy resulted. Shortly thereafter, my infallible President told me, which I dutifully echoed as always, that the ‘coalition’ was there to stop the bloodshed between the Sunnis and Shiites. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen so another reason why our valiant military was dying there had to be quickly determined…and even my articulate President was, astonishingly, running out of ideas. He then said we were over there to train the Iraq police and military to run their own country, but sadly, they are untrainable and unreliable.Then ‘benchmarks’ which the government was required to accomplish, but didn’t.”

” My President who is fluent, concise, and infallible has come up with the final reason why we are in Iraq, and in his wisdom, his answer is, “We are in Iraq to get the hell out without setting a date of withdrawal!” Meanwhile we’re having a ‘surge’ whose goal is not clear, but my President is working on a reason for it .Brilliant! I would never have thought of that. …and when the dust settles, and all Iraq is a heap of rubble, Our stalwart oil companies, Exxon/Mobil, Texaco, and Chevron will move in to rebuild the shattered oil infrastructure and our venerated troops will again be deployed there to keep China and others from stealing our oil which will flow once again to our great country; dropping the cost of gasoline to an acceptable level.”

With tears welling up in her eyes, Rice concluded,” I go to bed at night thanking God for His providence in blessing us with such a vigorous, invincible, unalterable,steadfast, humanitarian, altruistic man for President, as George W. Bush!”