DETROIT — Nine White House hopefuls found an audience receptive to change on Thursday, with several telling the 98th annual NAACP convention that America needs to dissolve the disparities between rich and poor.
Illinois Senator Barack Obama received the most enthusiastic applause when he revealed how he would solve the problem:
“There is virtually no middle class among blacks,” said Obama. “There is an extremely small group of wealthy blacks, but the huge majority are well below the poverty line. The wealthy blacks achieved their fortunes, mostly by becoming outstanding in their fields of endeavor. For example, a young, scarcely-educated Afro-American can make eight million dollars a year by throwing a ball through a hoop, so why should he waste years studying to become a scientist or doctor? Parents, don’t prevent your child from achieving financial success by saving for his or her college education. Spend a few bucks for a basketball and backstop hoop for his fifth birthday, and provide the first step toward unimaginable wealth!”
Senator Obama paused until the tumultuous applause died down. ” When the contract is signed, and the cash starts flowing, encourage your wealthy child to contribute part of those big bucks to assisting the poor achieve their dream of buying basketball equipment for their kids and using it as a first step in helping them join America’s monied class.”
Obama concluded, “Of course there are rare exceptions who achieve their wealth not on the athletic field, but by parasitically latching on to someone who requires a minority figure in a high place and is willing to pay for it, IF… that person, despite his or her own convictions, slavishly agrees with everything the benefactor says. For example, look at the success of Condoleezza Rice!”
( Shortly after Obama concluded his remarks, SPORTS AUTHORITY, America’s leading athletic store, ran out of basketballs and announced a delay of about three weeks between purchase and delivery.)