NASA Picks Shuttle Trader Magizine to Sell Off Space Shuttles

Unconfirmed sources report that NASA has decided sell off the fleet of Space Shuttles after the program concludes in the coming months. NASA has chosen the private service Shuttle Trader Magazine to handle the sale of the shuttles and all related equipment.

“We are proud that NASA has chosen us to help close down the program.” Says Ben Kickinger of Shuttle Trade Magazine. “We feel our publication is uniquely suited to help NASA out. Our readership is focused on the purchase of used shuttles and related hardware and is very excited about the prospect of picking up Shuttle program equipment.”

Kickinger admits that while he is excited about the contract, Shuttle Trader Magazine has had a tough time of it ever since it started back in 1984. Experts hailed its launch as a key step in the democratization of space, but initial high hopes for the magazine soon faded. The amount of used space shuttles on the market never really met expectations and Kickinger was forced to start other ventures to help keep Shuttle Trader Magazine afloat. These other ventures Auto Trader and Boat Trader magazines have been very successful and has allowed the money losing Shuttle Trader to continue.

“This is a sad day for NASA.” Says Administrator Michael Griffin. “But also one of renewed hope for the future of NASA’s manned space flight program. The end of the Shuttle Program means that we will begin a new program that will be bigger better and more expensive than anything we have undertaken before. I’m proud of the people that have kept the shuttle going, but the Shuttle Program is done. Its time for the shuttle, like an old dog, to lie on the porch and let the younger dogs chase the rabbits.”

“The Shuttles were nice when we fist made them in 1981, but really they are now 25 years old.” Says Gregg Easterbrook, a longtime Shuttle critic. “Who out there is driving 25 year old cars? These babies are classics with 100 millions miles on them. Its time to send The Shuttles to museums were they belong. I’m just glad the folks at Shuttle Trader Magazine are there to help NASA unload these turkeys.”

Kickinger expects the Shuttles to go for “several” million dollars each.

(note: This article appeared in a different form a few years back, but hey everything old is new again.)