CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida — NASA said yesterday it would review some of its experiments in light of an astronaut’s arrest on charges she tried to murder a woman she believed was her rival for a space shuttle pilot’s affections.
Deputy NASA administrator Shana Dale said the space agency would evaluate the process “to determine if any modifications are advisable.”
The review will look at how astronauts are screened for psychological problems and whether Lisa Nowak showed any problems following her engaging in certain space experiments. Some recommendations could be issued as early as June.
Dale said,”One of the recommendations, which may have led to Nowak’s bizarre behavior was our highly classified ‘ sex in space’ experiment”
” We had many volunteers for this among our astronauts” she said, ..and the ones selected claimed it was an unusually satisfying experience. Astronaut Tim Hanover said that experiencing weightlessness during the act at 145 miles high….’ was like,.. wow!’ “
” In view of this strange incident involving Capt. Nowak, we have tentatively determined that the increase in solar radiation, weightlessness, and the extreme velocity of the shuttle caused such a tremendous increase in strong memories of the experience, accompanied by increased libido that this may cause future problems among the participants, so we are discontinuing it until we evaluate the results.”
Dale continued, ” One of our female astronauts whom I won’t name, is pregnant following her participation in the tests. We are anxiously awaiting the baby’s birth to see if it is weightless.”