Omaha, NE- State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha sued God last week, seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty for making terroristic threats, inspiring fear and causing “widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants.”
The senator got something he probably didn’t expect; a response.. One of two court filings from “God” came Wednesday under otherworldly circumstances, according to John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha.
“This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here – poof!” Friend said. A 1-page document mysteriously turned up at the Douglas County Courthouse. It was marked “Special Appearance.” And it was signed at the bottom by God. God’s position is the suit should be thrown out, because He wasn’t served a summons by a deputy.There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said. Local defense attorneys agree that God has a good case.
The Rev. Donald Wilberson of Omaha’s Flaming Sword Church said that Chambers is bringing suit on the wrong….er, person, or whatever,… and that Satan is responsible for disasters. “Satan should burn in hell!” he angrily said ” God is good. He only brings us joy and happiness.”
Televangelist John Hagee has called upon President Bush to call for a National Day of Support for God, so He can overpower Satan and free mankind from floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, tsunamis, terrorists, Democrats, Muslims,and queers.