Necrophilia On The Rise Thanks To Tim Burton's Corpse Bride DVD

Many single, desperate men who can’t find love the old fashioned way or have trouble meeting girls at clubs and bars are turning their attention to NAMCLA (North American Man Corpse Love Association).

An organization that provides a loving bridge between single men and the living impaired. Simply fill out what your looking for in a Corpse and NAMCLA’s computer data base system will match your preference to a toe tag with similar interests. It’s that simple.

We asked Willy Pokastiff, a two year member of NAMCLA, to share his thoughts on the recent increase in membership. “Since Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride has been released, I’ve noticed the publics perception of Necrophilia has turned more positive. I’m glad to see Hollywood finally portraying loving the dead in a positive way. Not like before with movies such as Dawn of the Dead and Night of the Living Dead. I feel those movies portrayed such a negative stereotype of the relationships between the living and the dead.” Willy Pokastiff went on to explain, “Having sex with a corpse is as natural as beastiality. Sodomy is never an issue with a corpse bride, and if that isn’t your cup of tea, you can even make your own hole…anywhere. You save a tremendous amount of money on the cost of dining out. A corpse bride won’t nag and talk your head off after a hard days work. They don’t snore. You have a constant supply of fishing bait. Best of all, over a period of time, they take up less and less space in the bed!
Professor Nuttbutter of Johnson & Howard University has studied many subjects such as Mr. Pokastiff and his organizations lifestyle for over 30 years. The professor has found a common factor in 99% of his case studies. “I have noticed a similarity in all of the Necrophiliacs that I have researched. In the beginning, they all seem to start out by watching Granny Porn. It seems that Granny Porn or “Grizzle Filth” as it is more commonly referred to in the community, is the common bond between these people at an early age. It is the gateway into Necrophilia.