Nevada Republican Party to field candidates in phantom districts

LAS VEGAS – Seeing no need to allocate resources efficiently by backing Michele Fiore in the unwinnable 1st Congressional District, making it a contested primary, Nevada Republicans have decided to field candidates for phantom congressional seats.

After meeting with several potential candidates in a smoke-filled back room, Bob List decided to run Faye Kerr in Nevada’s 32nd phantom district, Ike N. Steele in Nevada’s 22nd, but no decision has been made on who to run in the 9th phantom district.

“Since faux seats are the most winnable, it makes sense to allocate resources toward these districts,” said Bob List.

Early faux polls show faux Republicans leading in these faux districts. The Nevada Republican Party has launched a fundraising campaign to help get these candidates elected to phantom seats. The party will also be making robocalls to the faux residents of these faux districts.

In an appeal to Nevada Republicans, Faye Kerr sent out a press release soliciting campaign contributions.

“I promise to wage a tough campaign for Nevada’s 32nd phantom district. I’m in it to win it. Please volunteer and donate whatever amount you can afford to my campaign,” said Faye Kerr in her press release. “Our campaign will spend every dime received wisely.”

The website for the Phantom Congress is www.PhantomCongress.org.