Nevada senatorial candidate Sue Lowden condemns actor Tom Cruise

LAS VEGAS – In what has turned out to be a nightmarish scenario unfolding for the Nevada senatorial race, the unhinged GOP candidate Sue Lowden has shifted into campaigning against Scientology, rather than for meaningful change. Robert Uithoven, Lowden’s campaign manager, said the following in a press release:

“We aren’t interested in ending the wars, rolling back the metastasizing police state, or taking any steps necessary to prevent a currency crisis from unfolding. Instead, our campaign has launched an all out attack on Scientology and Scientologists,” said Uithoven. “Tom Cruise needs to repudiate his ties to the Church of Scientology or our campaign will go into its next phase: Attack ads against Tom Cruise. We also call on Kenny Loggins, the musician who sang Danger Zone for the movie Top Gun, to renounce his ties with Tom Cruise. And, for that matter, anybody who is opposed to snorting cocaine, which has a germ of Scientology to it, should abandon that position. It’s just a coincidence that almost every major shooting was done by somebody who happened to be on some kind of drug, and drugs are good. Our campaign, however, is against drug legalization. So, on one hand, we condemn those who condemn the use of drugs, but favor keeping the drug war intact.”

So far, Tom Cruise has yet to issue a statement through his press representative. One source, speaking on condition of anonymity, told Unconfirmed Sources that Tom Cruise is expected to contact the online paper to issue a response to Sue Lowden’s horribly run campaign.