New Anti-Aging Cream Is Pure Bull Shit

A California researcher claims he has discovered a new ointment that reverses aging, cures arthritis, enhances muscle growth and it is made from the fecal material of male bulls.

“Bullshit has remarkable curative properties”, said Dr. Ely Goldmaker. “We have been ignoring the remarkable healing powers of this wonderful substance because of the stigma attached to it!”

Goldmaker is offering an 18 OZ tube of “enhanced” Bullshit salve for only $24.95 plus $14.35 shipping and handling for a limited time. “You just apply the bullshit cream all over your body and within three weeks you will see all signs of aging disappear!” Goldmaker claimed.

“You must act now”, Goldmaker reminded everyone. “Supplies are limited and as soon as I’ve made a fortune you won’t hear from me again!”

Goldmaker is selling his product on strategically placed internet ads to attract only the smartest and most savvy customers.