New planet to be named: Bush-World

Unconfirmed Sources report the newly discovered planet located beyond Pluto will be named after the President of the United States George W. Bush. Originally detected by astronomers in California two years ago and code named 2003 UB313, the planet is more than twice as far from the sun as Pluto. The astronomers at Mount Palomar, Michael Brown and Chad Trujillo, selected the name because they could think of nothing else further from the American people than the world of George W. Bush.

With an estimated diameter of 2,100 miles, Bush World is about the size of our Moon, and substantially bigger than Pluto. Its orbit, which is unlike that of any known planet, is highly elliptical, tilted at about 45 degrees to the rest of the solar system and so vast it takes 560 years to complete. Michael Brown speaking at a press conference celebrating the discovery said “We found Bush-World to be very distant with an erratic orbit and devoid of intelligent life, just like the President.”

The President is said to be “thrilled” with the prospect of the United states owning another planet. The administration has also made the planet the focus of a new energy bill. Administration Press Secretary Scott McClellan detailed the new policy. “In light of the global war on terror and our dependence on foreign oil the President has asked congress to approve a 600 billion dollar spending package that includes funds to liberate, democratize and set up oil drilling operations on Bush World.”

Critics of the Bush-World energy policy claim it’s a hand out to Halliburton and Exxon-Mobile. Nasa administrator Michael Griffion complained, his agency would only see $18.06 of the proposed 600 billion dollar fund. “Are we going to take the subway out to Bush World?” Griffion is reportedly upset that 150 million dollars of the spending is earmarked to write “Welcome to Bush World” on the planets surface large enough to be visible from space.