New Scientific Data Proves Intelligent Design

Unconfirmed sources from inside the Discovery Institute report that a definitive scientific report proving intelligent design is ready to be released. For months rumors have been spreading through the scientific community. Security has been very tight, so tight that no advanced copies of the report have been submitted for peer review.

The Discovery Institute has been critical of Darwin’s Theory of Evolution and have long promised scientific studies and data to prove Darwin was wrong. Proponent of the Theory of Intelligent Design have long relied on faith alone, but are now feeling it’s time to use science to unseat Darwin from his place in Science.

William Buckingham a member of the Dover Pennsylvania school board and supporter of Intelligent Design has been eagerly awaiting the reports publication. “It’s been a huge fight here in Dover and we think it’s time the critics of Intelligent Design were silenced once and for all.” The people of Dover however are not waiting for the report. In recent elections the pro intelligent design members of the school board were reelected in a landslide.

A spokesman for the Discovery Institute confirmed the report is to be released soon but would not comment of the contents of the study. “It’s going to be a huge step forward for the Discovery Institute and for the scientific method.” He did say that extensive lab testing has been done and millions of dollars have been spent preparing the text of the study.

Scientists close to the Discovery Institute applaud the Institutes turn to actual science. Professor Bill Dennis of Washington State University has recently visited the Discovery Institute labs in Seattle. “The Labs are state of the art. It is a unique facility, I have never seen a lab with a 60 foot ceiling, pews, crucifix and an alter.” The Professor’s description of the lab is consistent with fact that the Institute converted it’s Chapel of Saint. Edwin into a “Research” lab. The professor also noted the lab manual looked a bit like the New Testament.