WASHINGTON, D.C. — The results of a U.S. Department of Homeland Security commissioned study are now in. The study, which relied upon information collected from Johns Hopkins University anthropology graduate students and professors, concludes that there is a definitive link between a high intelligence quotient and sedition, or “terrorist” leanings.
The study tested the intelligence quotients of over 1,000 individuals, then followed up with a political questionnaire, asking questions about support for President Bush.
“We noticed that the higher the IQ, the less likely that person is to support President Bush. This certainly doesn’t make intelligent people look very patriotic,” said Johns Hopkins University Professor Emma Lou Serr.
Homeland Security officials are now saying that the most effective way to prosecute the war on terror may be to combat intelligence.
“I am just reminded of the President’s remarks, about either being with him, or with the terrorists. Seeing this link between intelligence and opposition to Bush makes me believe we are going to have to find innovative ways to dumb people down, if we are to have a successful war on terror,” said Homeland Security Director Michael Chertoff.
The Center for Security Policy’s Frank Gaffney spoke about the threat to national security from intelligent people, saying that something must be done to stop smart people.
“The longer we let smart people move about with impunity, the greater the risk to national security. We need to look at ways to encumber the intelligent. Perhaps we could administer IQ tests at the airport, and if people score too high, place them on the no-fly list,” explained Frank Gaffney. “We could also place smart people on terror watch lists.”
The Bush administration has not yet commented on the correlation between intelligence and anti-neoconservatism. Many Republicans, however, are calling for a full-scale war on intelligence.
David Horowitz and Michael Savage are calling for the U.S. government to nuke countries with the smartest per capita populations.