New "Thug" Nickle Issued

Washington, DC (APE) – In a break with tradition, the new nickel has an image of a seated president Bush displayed, facing forwards. The Mint plans to begin shipping 80 million of the new five cent coins, lovingly referred to as “thug” nickels, beginning today.

The word “Liburty” is displayed in Bush’s hand writing as well as the phrase, “I’m God We Trust”. On the opposite side, the nickel still features Monticello, Thomas Jefferson’s Virginia home, which Bush has recently purchased and will be renamed Crawford.

The new nickel with a smiling Bush is the perfect way to complete the illegal Republican takeover of power, said acting US mint Director David Lebryk, a controversial recess appointment by President Bush.

“This nickel features a forward looking President Bush who recognized that the war with Iraq and his global oil expeditions would devalue the dollar to that of the nickel in numerous ways,” Lebryk said. “This is a nihilistic, reality based image, emblematic of the future for our nation.”