News Briefs: Tuesday, February 08, 2005

You’re Only As Pretty As You Feel:

Palestinian and Israeli negotiators have agreed to stop killing each other for a little while; the two sides have announced a Formal Truce. While both sides in the conflict, known as the Second Intifada, are justifiably excited about the cease fire worries remain that not all those involved will honor the terms of the formal truce and continuously wear evening dress, as the truce is of course Formal. One of the major sticking points is that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon quite frankly looks pretty dumpy in white tie and tails and will once again bomb the Palestinian Authority because Mahmoud Abbas looks so much better than he does in group photos. Mr. Abbas is indeed quite the rake in a Ralph Lauren classic single button ventless jacket with grosgrain lapel and buttons, soft sloping shoulders and full Bemberg lining. The only hope is that tuxedos don’t really accessorize well with a keffiah; this would bring parity to the process.