Unconfirmed sources report that Alberto Gonzales will join super celebrities Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan in the slammer. The trio are headed behind bars because of their participation in a series of lawless adventures involving drugs, alcohol, and obstruction of justice. But don’t fret for these super stars as they are really just trying to boost their careers to the next level.
That’s right! All three are being helped by agent and king maker Felix Nunbar. Nunbar, a long time super-agent in Hollywood, is fast becoming a household name for the bizarre and wildly successful methods he uses to help his clients. Nunbar’s past clients include the likes of Martha Stewart and Paris Hilton, and he is credited with the creation of the ‘Doing Time’ mid career recharge.
“Am I telling my clients to break the law?” asks Nunbar. “No way! I just tell them that little time in the slammer and the accompanying publicity can’t hurt them. There is no such thing as bad publicity and going to jail gives even the wimpiest weevil some street cred. Take my client Alberto Gonzales, we have him set to do a little time and we all know he is going to come out of this smelling like a rose. So what’ wrong with that?”
Apparently not much as even rising stars like Lindsay Lohan have resorted to the tactics Nunbar advocates. With our cultures continued thirst for celebrity and stardom we can expect to see many stars and politicians headed to the slammer.