No Clear Winner in First Presidential Debate


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Washington, DC (Rotters) – In a subdued counterpoint to the highly publicized Democratic presidential candidate debate sponsored by MSNBC, Fox news sponsored an impromptu spontaneous debate between the three front running Republican presidential candidates. The debate occurred at “Hooligan’s” a popular local pub in downtown Washington, and was co-moderated by Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh.

The three Republican candidates sparred over a number of important issues over drinks, with all three showing support for the current administration over the war in Iraq.

Perhaps one of the most controversial questions of the evening was posed by commentator Bill O’Reilly, who asked of each of the candidates, “If you were elected president of this great country what would be your strategy for reigning in George Soros and the vast left wing guerilla/entertainment complex that threatens to yank America from its righteous victory in Iraq? Would you go after him?

“Coiteny! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!” stated senator McCain.

The debate at that point became decidedly slapstick, as all three began ad-hominem and physical attacks directed at each other.

In the end, all three appeared to make ammends before departing, and pledged, “Super Service” to the American voters.