Washington, DC (Rotters) – Children worldwide breathed a collective sigh of relief as Santa reportedly dodged an errant anti-missile strike this evening. The Department of Defense insisted that the strike was an accident due in part to NORAD’s participation with Google Earth in providing a Santa Claus tracking service this year. Santa and all of his reindeer suffered a close call but were unhurt according to North Pole sources.
“It was really a glitch in the system, nothing more,” stated an anonymous NORAD spokesperson. “The computer system was on automatic and simply reacted to what it deemed was an unknown threat traveling at approximately 28,000 kph. We were actually able to detonate the missile before any harm was done.”
A slightly different story was obtained from a North Pole spokesperson identifying himself simply as “Buddy”.
“This is the same old game that we go through with the Department of Defense every year,” chided Buddy. “Every year they come up with a different missile system, thinking that they can rule the skies, and they take their best shot. Santa’s always been a step ahead. They haven’t come up with anything yet that can catch him outright, and tinsel functions as excellent radar confusing chaff. They still haven’t cracked Santa’s state-of-the-art remote control toy technology… once airborne, he can take over anything they want to lob at him. Looks like it’ll be another lump of coal for the naughty boys and girls at the Pentagon again this year.”
A Department of Defense spokesperson denied the North Pole’s allegations, and apologized for the incident, insisting that they would continue their hard work in insuring Santa safe passage each and every year.