(USCS NEW: Everywhere) Today NSA analysts reported they have proof that new terror attacks are being planned and could even take place during George W. Bushs State of the Union address. The information is nonspecific in nature, no time or place for the attack was mentioned in the report. The Press Secretary Scott McClellan stated that George W. Bush will not cancel the State of the Union due to the looming terrorists threats. “The President does not fear Osama Bin Laden or al-Qaeda.”
When questioned about his response McClellan admitted, “Of course the President is not afraid. Not even a terrorist mosquito can penetrate his security.” As for the common citizen that lacks a security detail McClellan suggested they “should buy duct tape” and “Stay home” to avoid the danger of a terrorist attacks.
Experts have studied the NSA report and agree that the failure of the Bush administrations war on terror has left Americans both Democrat and Republicans to face another attack from Osama Bin Ladens al-Qaeda terror network. “Of course BIn Ladin is planning attacks that’s what terrorist networks do if you don’t capture them!” said Juan Cole Middle East Expert. Self professed experts outside the field of international terror groups also agree George W. Bush has failed in the war on terror. Bill O’Reilly of Fox news complained. “Man were we duped, we invaded Iraq to stop Osama Bin Laden and we got the wrong country!”
The NSA uncovered the information using a variety of covet sensing equipment. NSA chief Lt. General Keith B. Alexander explained the sensing technology. “Firstly we used the illegal rights issued to us by the President, I can’t tell you more about warrant less wire tapping of Americans because that might aid the Democrats, I mean enemies of the state.”
Alexander went on the explain. “The other instrument we use to probe the inner workings of Al-Qaeda is a 14 inch Toshiba color TV tuned to Al-Jezzera.”