Washimgton, DC (Rotters) – On the heels of robust donations posted by the John Edwards ’08 presidential campaign, both the Barack Obama, and Hillary Clinton campaigns have contacted the publishing firm for Ann Coulter demanding apologies for past insults from the right wing pundit and exclusive deals for continued abuse. “We’re just a bit overwhelmed,” stated a spokesperson for Crown Publishers, “Ann has really stumbled onto something here.”
In what is viewed as a first tentative step at forming a political consulting firm, Ms. Coulter appeared at a $1000 plate campaign dinner for Illinois Senator Barack Obama, last night in Washington.
“As I said to Mrs. Edwards, I’m happy that they’re able to use my name to raise funds,” stated Ms. Coulter. “It’s the American dream to be paid well for doing something that you would probably do for free. I happen to enjoy insulting people, particularly liberals and Democrats. If I can turn a little coin for myself in addition to my writing, well than everybody’s happy. I would respectfully disagree with Ms. Edwards about her little crack about “elevating the level of discourse”. That’s just a bunch of elitist nonsense, and smash mouth politics is exactly what the American public wants.”
A spokesperson for Coulter stated that they were exploring ways in which they might be able to meet the increasing demands from other Democratic candidates. “Ann would love to be able to support and debate everyone, but she probably has even less time than the average presidential candidate,” stated the spokesperson. “She would also like to be able to provide equal financial incentives to a number of Republican candidates.”
Coulter was resoundingly and enthusiastically booed by last night’s attendees as she steadfastly refused to apologize for disparaging past remarks in regards to Obama’s name and religious preference. Preliminary figures compiled by the Obama campaign indicated that they had raked in $200,000 in additional donations above and beyond monies raised by the dinner itself.
“I was delighted to finally meet the Rock… er, I mean, Barack,” concluded Coulter. “Everything that they say about his charisma and presence is absolutely true. He’s hot! I just don’t see why anyone should have a problem with this man having a pretty blonde girl on his arm.”