Obama, McCain Campaign Planes Collide – Ohio Still Up For Grabs.

It was bound to happen when you get two candidates, each crisscrossing the country, sometimes twice in one day, headed for campaign stops in nearly every contested state in the Union. Late last night the jets carrying Illinois Senator Barack Obama and Arizona Senator John McCain collided on the runway of an Ohio airport as Senator Obama’s plane was taking off and Senator McCain’s was going down. Neither candidate was injured in the crash and within minutes both candidates were back on the trail with Mr. Obama leaving the airport in a chartered bus via the high road and Mr. McCain in a cab going by the more familiar and heavily traveled low one.

While this is apparently the first time Senator Obama has ever been involved in an air incident, being in a crash was old news for Mr. McCain, who’s had one fighter jet hit with a missile on his own aircraft carrier and another shot down in Vietnam. Reports are that Senator Obama responded to his plane being hit with the words, “Did that idiot pilot just clip our wing?”, while Mr. McCain said, “Jesus Christ, not again! Eject! Eject!”.

Within fifteen seconds of impact, the Obama campaign team, legendary for it’s precision and adaptability, had used it’s massive campaign war chest to lease every over-the-road tour bus in a five hundred mile radius, leaving Senator McCain to hail a cab in front of the airport, scuffling for it with an old couple who had just returned from a three day trip to Toledo, where, due to financial restraints, they had gone on vacation rather than their originally planned retirement trip around the world.

Unnamed McCain Campaign Spokesman Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, “It was scary, sure, but it was also good to see that John (McCain) still had all the old reflexes. Within second of feeling the bump, John had his parachute on, a K-bar knife between his teeth and a Vietnamese/English phrasebook in his hand, ready to go. While the rest of us were standing there, waiting for the evacuation chute to deploy, John had pushed a door open and leapt into wild blue tarmac; of course, he looked a little odd sitting on the runway, slashing at the chute draped over his head and yelling, “They’re not gonna get me again!”

Both camps immediately issued statements, with the McCain campaign blaming the terrorist cells that run rampant in Ohio and other battleground states and the Obama team calling for better air traffic control.