To counter his critics who have accused him of having a “testosterone driven” Presidency, President Barack Obama held a basketball game today against his most trusted female cabinet members. Obama beat the females 118 to 2.
The female players included his wife Michelle Obama, Solicitor General Elena Kagan, Melody C. Barnes, Director of the Domestic Policy Council, Heather A. Higginbottom, Deputy Director of the Domestic Policy Council, Ellen Moran, Director of Communications and Desiree Rogers, Social Secretary.
As the game began, Obama captured the ball from Moran and ran cross court for his first two point layup. On the second play of the game Higginbottom attempted to pass to Rogers but Rogers failed to maintain control of the ball resulting in two successful free throws by the president. Obama continued to take advantage of errors made by the female players but eventually tried to help them by showing them how to throw the ball.
Michelle Obama scored the only two points for the team during the game early in the third quarter and she celebrated by doing a ‘dribble dance’ and yelling at her husband calling him “Sucka!”. However she lost control of the ball for the remainder of the game.
Despite there being 5 women on the team some of the female players claimed Obama was cheating. “He kept jumping up and stopping the ball from going in the basket”, Barnes complained. “How are we supposed to score if he does that?”
The females fouled countless times allowing numerous free throws for the president. With the possible exception of Michelle, the rest of the women admitted they had never played the game before and didn’t understand the rules.
“I demand a rematch after we’ve learned how to play!” cried Rogers.