In denouncing the new Arizona immigration laws, President Barack Obama insisted today that the Arizona laws would eliminate Mexican slavery and this would lead to higher prices for consumers.
Obama revealed that giant food production companies pay thousands of dollars each for the Mexican immigrants. The immigrants work for pay below minimum wage, are willing to share 10-15 people to a room and help keep America’s food prices low.
“The Mexican people work very hard and will work long hours in any weather condition”, the president stated. “If we had to hire Americans to do the same work we would have to pay them five times as much!”
“Without the Mexicans food prices would skyrocket! People would not be able to feed their children! The economy of the United States would collapse! Arizona is making a terrible mistake in attempting to deport these hard working people!”
Some people have compared the Mexican immigration to slavery. “Sure, it’s slavery!” said satire writer Nick Vachon. “You give them a room, pay them almost nothing and expect them to be happy? Of course, I can buy cheap strawberries and potatoes so there’s a trade off.”
Some Arizona residents were concerned about deporting the illegal workers. “Last summer I had four of them hot top my driveway when the outside temperature was 120 degrees”, said Phoenix resident Tanya Wallace. “If an American tried to do that he’d die! They didn’t even complain! And it only cost me a hundred bucks!”
Others argue that the inexpensive slave-type labor is taking jobs away from Americans. Obama did not want to hear that argument.