Obama Will Give Each American $1 Million


In an effort to solve the country’s financial crisis, US President elect Barack Obama has vowed to give each American $1 million tax-free dollars to invest or spend as they see fit.

Obama and his financial consultants discovered that the main reason for the current financial recession is that Americans don’t have enough money. By giving them more money Obama believes this will stimulate the economy and lead to greater prosperity.

“Many Americans have complained that they cannot afford certain goods or services”, Obama stated during a press conference. “Now they will have money to travel, purchase new things, go to college and live a decent quality of life”.

Louisiana oil field worker Sam Nutmeg said he couldn’t be happier with the economic incentive. “The Republicans were giving money to big corporations”, Nutmeg stated. “Obama is giving it to the working man.”

Nutmeg stated that he will be purchasing a new vehicle and saving for his two children’s education because “a million buck ain’t what is used to be”.

Some people interviewed said they were going to buy new high definition television sets, new vehicles, take trips abroad and dine at high class restaurants.

Critics of Obama’s proposal conceded that they had no better solution.

Many factories which were formerly in foreclosure or bankruptcy have started producing with more zeal than ever in efforts to keep up with the anticipated demand for their products. Banks have been given new leases on their lives. The housing industry no longer feels the crunch.

Also, according to news reports, people are having more sex.

“When people have no money the last thing they’re thinking about is getting laid”, said Dr Harvey Muncher, chief of endocrinology and fertility at McDonald’s Hospital in Cleveland, OH.