Obama Wins Nobel Prize for Killing No More Than Bush

U.S. President Barack Obama won the prestigious Nobel Prize for Peace when the Nobel Committee revealed he has killed no more American, Iraqi and Afghani citizens than his predecessor George W. Bush.

“I promised during my campaign that no more American soldiers would die in these wars”, Obama stated. “No more have died. No fewer have died either”.

The International Community had nothing but praise for the US Commander-In-Chief. French President Nicolas Sarkozy stated, “Obama marks the return of America into the hearts of the people of the world, except Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel and the other Middle Eastern countries.”

The French president then drank a toast to Obama before falling off his stool.

Former Vice President Dick Cheney was a dissenting voice among the crowd. “Why give the prize to some black pansy?” Cheney asked. “A real man would send in more troops, torture the hell out of them and get this war over with!”

US Afghani Commander General Stanley McChrystal