U.S. military sources report that Osama Bin Laden has been killed. Bin Laden apparently died after eating E.coli tainted spinach that had been given to him as part of a cunning assassination plot spearheaded by the CIA. While the CIA won’t publicly take credit for Bin Laden’s death there has apparently been much celebration in Langley.
The secret plan to kill Bin Laden with tainted spinach was hatched by a midlevel CIA operative two weeks ago as the first cases of E.coli poisoning from tainted spinach became public. The CIA operative saw an opportunity as he knew Osama Bin Laden was a big fan of spinach salads and fresh spinach is hard to get in the tribal areas of Pakistan along the border of Afghanistan. The plan was simple, air drop spinach into the area and wait for success.
The plan worked like a charm. As stores disposed of millions of bags of spinach the plan was set into motion. Refrigerated CIA air transports collected millions of bags of tainted spinach and flew directly to drop zones. The daring pilots flew dozens of low level missions delivering the deadly cargo. The operation lasted just four days, as the supply of spinach was exhausted, that four days was apparently enough.
News of Osama’s death or grave illness first appeared over the weekend and have now been verified by lawyers from America who have signed up the Bin Laden family as part of a class action lawsuit against the spinach processor.
The President declined to comment on the specifics of the CIA operation but expressed pleasure about the possibility of the mission’s success.