Billionaire television evangelist Joel Osteen’s wife Victoria claimed today that she was simply fondling the breasts of flight attendant Sharon Brown while on a flight to Vail, Colorado.
“I love feeling women’s breasts. I am guilty of that”, Victoria explained in court today. “She had a set of hooters that I just couldn’t keep my hands off! It was purely a sexual thing and there was no violence involved!”
Ms Brown claims Victoria complained of a tiny spill that the flight attendant did not immediately address. Victoria then grabbed her by the breasts, elbowed her and was sucker punched in the jaw thus causing irreparable harm to Ms Brown’s mental health.
“I now have depression and post traumatic stress disorder”, Ms Brown testified in court. “It was worse than seeing my friends killed in Iraq”.
Joel Osteen confirmed his wife’s version of events. “She likes to touch hooters. Just likes all Christians do”.
Ms Brown is suing the Osteen’s for $100 million.
“It’s not about the money”, Ms Brown insisted