Pardoned National Turkeys May and Flower Found Dead, Eaten

Unconfirmed sources are reporting that the turkeys President Bush pardoned before Thanksgiving are dead. The two turkeys, May and Flowers, that were publicly pardoned by the President in the Rose Garden have been cooked and eaten. What is even more disturbing is that they apparently met their end at the hands of the Presidents’ very own secret service detail.

The shocking discovery of the crime was made during clean up at the secret service quarters at Camp David. Food service staff entered the cafeteria after a thanksgiving dinner for the agents was over and discovered the gruesome remains of two turkeys.

“It was horrible,” said one the workers, who wished to remain anonymous. “The carcasses of two birds where just lying there on a bed of greens. It looked like they had been burned and their flesh just ripped off their bones. I nearly vomited on the spot.”

The White House is denying that the two birds found in the secret service quarters were May and Flowers. Presidential spokesman Ben Lion told reporters that the two birds ‘were just two unlucky turkeys.’

Unconfirmed Sources investigators have gone to Disneyworld to determine the fate of May and Flowers. At this hour they have discovered a flock of turkeys, but have not been able to positively identify the supposedly pardoned two birds.