Paris Hilton Agrees to Be White House War Czar To Avoid Prison

(washington)-World famous super celebrity Paris Hilton has negotiated an 18 month term of public service to avoid a 45 day prison sentence for violating her parole on driving offenses. Hilton has agreed to become the War Czar, a position created by the White House to get the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan under control. The judge deciding the case calls the agreement a win win situation. “Ms. Hilton needed to be taught a lesson and the White House couldn’t get anybody to take the position.”

Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days in prison last Friday, but everyone involved knew the celebrity heiress and reality TV star would never do any time. Her lawyer, Howard Weitzman, has said he will appeal “to modify the sentence.” And that is just what happened. Over the weekend Weitzman convinced the judge that Hilton would turn over a new leaf starting with the new White House position.

“She wants to put this behind her and come off looking remorseful and repentant.” said Roger Gillott, whose public relations firm, Gillott Communications, specializes in crisis management. “Paris has assured the judge that she will serve her time as quietly as possible,”

The White House is very pleased by the addition of Ms. Hilton to the staff. Officials privately suggest that Ms. Hiltons ‘Star Power’ will help her solve many problems that have faced the administration in the execution of it’s war plans.

“This position is really for more of a head cracker than a bureaucracy cracker,” said Michael O’Hanlon, a foreign policy analyst for the Brookings Institution, a former adviser to the Iraq Study Group, and one who likes the idea. “The President wanted one point person to contact everyone else to tell them that we need these 17 things by Tuesday to comply with the president’s top foreign policy priorities. Ms. Hilton has a proven track record of doing things and talking to people and that is what the President needs in a War Czar. I’m looking forward to seeing what she can do.”