Paris Hilton Released From Jail With Life Threatening Condition

Celebrity bad girl Paris Hilton was once again released from jail, the second time in two days. Miss Hilton was released form jail and taken by ambulance to Hollywood General Hospital. The hotel heiress had only been back in jail for one night when she was struck down by the very rare and very dangerous condition know as Jailitis. Hospital officials report that initial treatments of champagne, caviar, and light recreational drug use are proving very effective.

Jailitis is a very series condition that celebrities often suffer when they are incarcerated for the first time. The condition often appears very soon after a celebrity enters a law enforcement facility.

The symptoms include, but are not limited too, sleeplessness, claustrophobia, feelings of paranoia, cravings for alcohol, sex, email access and the presence of the paparazzi.

“Miss Hilton seems to be suffering from a very severe case of Jalitis.” Says Jailitis expert, Ben N. Carcerated. “Jailitis is especially hard on people with high net worth and celebrity status. Miss Hilton suffers from two risk factors that make Jailitis a real danger for her. The good news is she will recover quickly with a dose of freedom, a few shots of hard liquor, and some press coverage.”

Court officials and doctors are said to be discussing the best course of treatment for Miss Hilton, but have not released a statement to the media.